27.09.2026 - all the tired horses
Sometimes it seems to be a Bob Dylan sort of day. We ask ourselves if we are only a little low or if it is already something else. We go through the motions and think, just showing up ought to be enough. 

Instead of being aware of an experience, we expect the experiences to make us aware. And maybe that is also the fundamental flaw at the heart of creation. 
The wild expectation that happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment will emerge on their own solely by merit of things existing. Then again, maybe that's the truth, more or less.

If we are the universe perceiving itself, are we perhaps haunted by an existential dysthymia? An ill-humour, which leaves us low on energy, low in self-esteem, with poor concentration, sad and hopeless?

Is that why we always need to make our own fate? Is that why it feels so hard?

29.09.2026 - Hindsight
“It is quite true what philosophy claims that life must be understood backward. But then one forgets the other principle, that it must be lived forward.”
— Søren Kierkegaard

We move through time on a forwards trajectory, yet we only perceive things that have already passed, only understand our experiences after we have already made them. We neither know what the future holds, nor can we fully anticipate the impact our choices will have. For Kierkegaard this tragedy of the human condition was so important he wrote it down several times.
Like the characters in an ancient Greek play, we are constantly subject to anagnorisis, the sudden awareness of the real situation and the realisation of things as they Stand. Only in retrospect do we reconsolidate our memory with the new insight and emotion. Every new bit of information, not only changes our knowledge of the past, but by the mechanism of memory itself also threatens to tint how we believe to have always felt about it at the time.

We are however, I think, creatures of the ever present moment. Neither past nor future are truly real to us. We make the experiences as they happen. And though our first instinct drives us to reframe, restructure and construct after the fact, we can choose to be aware as a thing occurs and hold on to how we feel about it.

11.10.2026 - Corporate System
“[...]Corporations are superorganisms. They're not 'like' superorganisms, they are actual superorganisms.”
— The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt

A world trapped in the idea, that ever more streamlined productivity and efficiency is the supreme virtue, has corporations use the language of diligence and industry to position themselves at the heart of civilisation. 
We forget that their first fiduciary responsibility is most decidedly not shareholder value, but instead ensuring a society in which entities such as them are able to persist and flourish.

David Graeber gave us an interesting theory with his essay-book 'Bullshit Jobs'. “It's as if someone were out there making up pointless jobs just for the sake of keeping us all working,” he writes. 

The jobs and functions that baffled him seem to exist not to be productive, not to be useful or beneficial in any way but one: To keep us invested in the ecosystem that allows the corporate organism to live. The individual's sense of self-esteem, -respect and ego subsumed, perverted and diminished in service of that goal.